Luc (Rossi Brothers) Read online

  But they hadn’t used a condom. She and Daniel hadn’t ever lost their heads when they made love. That morning in her kitchen, she’d gotten so caught up in Luc, in the overwhelming emotions, it hadn’t even occurred to her until she realized her period was late.

  The stick’s rectangular form blurred before her as the tears overflowed, slipping down her cheeks. Her shaking fingers released the stick, sending it clattering into the bathroom sink. She managed to turn before her knees gave out from beneath her, and she sank onto the toilet lid like her body weighed a thousand pounds.

  In the last three weeks, she hadn’t once stopped thinking about Luc. The pain in his eyes the morning he left had etched itself on her heart. That look haunted her. She’d never forgive herself for the way she’d hurt him.

  Now this. If she knew Luc, he’d want to be there for her, because that was the kind of man he was. It would painful for him because the truth was, the likelihood of the baby making it to term was slim. And hurting him any more made her feel like the worst person who ever lived.

  She didn’t have it in her to lose another one.

  Liz swiped at her eyes and pushed to her feet. She needed Sam, needed time with the only person who could talk her out of the hell spiraling in her head.

  She made her way into the kitchen on numb legs. There, she picked her cell phone off the counter where she’d laid it earlier, but the phone’s screen blurred behind the tears that refused to stop filling her eyes. Luckily, Sam was in her favorites. Her fingers found the button automatically.

  Sam picked up on the third ring. “What’s up?”

  The familiar warmth of Sam’s voice settled around her, and Liz couldn’t stop her voice from wobbling. “Can you come over?”

  Sam went deathly silent. “Are you all right?”

  “I don’t know.” She probably sounded like a ninny. Here she was, a forty-year-old woman in tears over something that ought to be a blessing, but she couldn’t stop them. She couldn’t stop the rising panic and fear. The thought of losing another baby threatened to crush her.

  The sound of pots and pans banging against stoves then someone shouting drifted across the phone line. It wasn’t Sam’s day off. They weren’t supposed to get together for tea until Tuesday. She prayed Sam understood, though, because she didn’t know if she had it in her to explain right now.

  “I’ll be over right after work, okay?” Sam’s voice came soft.

  Liz blew out a held breath. “Thank you.”

  “Anytime.”

  She leaned back against the kitchen counter and closed her eyes. “Sam?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Bring chocolate.”

  “Hang on.” Rustling sounded over the line. Sam’s voice came muffled; she was likely giving orders to the kitchen crew. After a moment, her voice was louder. “Chocolate means man trouble. Did he hurt you? Do I need to have Joe find him and beat him?”

  Not for the first time in their lives, Liz was damn grateful for her best friend. Sam’s feistiness eased some of her tension. Whatever happened, she’d never truly be alone. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too. I’ll bring the brownies, you make the tea, and we’ll have a midnight binge. Buck up, sweetie. You’re walking. Whatever happened, don’t forget that, okay? The first steps are bound to be the most painful.”

  • • •

  Fifteen minutes after eleven, Sam, God bless her, arrived with an armload of plastic containers and a worried frown. The sight finally cracked the resolve that held Liz up all day. Tears flooded her eyes, and her shoulders slumped in relief. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  Sam rushed across the threshold, shutting the door behind her. “What happened? Are you okay?”

  “I’m pregnant.” The word left her mouth with all the pent-up fear trapped inside of her.

  “Oh, God.” Sam’s eyes widened. She settled the containers into her right arm, hooked the left through Liz’s, and tugged her into the kitchen. There, she set the containers on the center island and enveloped Liz in a hug so tight Liz almost couldn’t breathe. “Don’t. Don’t you dare go there, Lizzie. This is good news. Babies are always good news.”

  The pain washed over her, combining with a flood of relief. She didn’t have the words to tell Sam how grateful she was for their friendship. She might have gone insane if it weren’t for this woman. “I’ve lost them all. Every single one. I’ve never managed to carry a single baby to term.”

  Sam pulled back and brushed the tears from Liz’s cheeks, her expression somber. “Have you told Luc?”

  Liz’s chest tightened again, squeezing the air from her lungs. She pulled out of Sam’s embrace and moved to the stove. “No, and I’m not going to. At least, not yet.”

  Sam pulled down a couple of paper plates near the microwave and moved back to the center island. She peeked at Liz as she popped the lid on one of the plastic containers. “You can’t keep this from him, sweetie. It’ll kill him.”

  Liz picked up the teapot and filled it with water at the sink, then set it back on the stove, turning on the burner. She leaned back against the stove, gripping the oven door handle, and sighed. “I know, but what on earth do I tell him? That I’m pregnant with a baby I’m probably going to lose in a couple of weeks anyway? If I make it past the first trimester, I’ll tell him then.”

  But even then, she knew. She’d lost her daughter at twenty-four weeks. The heart-wrenching worry wouldn’t end until well into the last trimester.

  She shook her head, the dejection washing over her. “Right now, all it would do is hurt him. I doubt he wants to see me anyway.”

  Sam set a large brownie on a plate and paused, staring at her. “Something happened.”

  Liz got out two mugs. “It’s over. I haven’t seen Luc in three weeks.”

  Sam gave a vague, thought-filled nod. “Ah. That explains why he’s been so mopey. I knew something was wrong, but you wouldn’t talk to me, so I didn’t push. What happened? I thought you two were getting along.”

  Liz swiped angrily at her eyes. She’d done too much damn crying today. “We were.”

  Sam took one look at her and planted her hands on her hips. “Spill it.”

  Ten minutes later, they sat at the kitchen table with two cups of tea and two huge, dark chocolate brownies. Liz told Sam every scintillating detail of what had transpired between her and Luc. Sam stared, wide-eyed, from across the table.

  After what seemed like an eternity, Sam finally sank back in her seat, her mouth dropping open. “Oh my God. You’ve totally fallen for him. That’s what this is all about. You’re in love with him, and you’re running scared.”

  Something jolted inside of her that she out and out refused to acknowledge. She jerked her gaze to her teacup, glaring into the warm, amber liquid. “No. I’m not. That’s exactly the problem.”

  Sam shoved away from the table, all but running around to her side, and enveloped Liz in another bear hug. “Oh, sweetie, this is a good thing. This is wonderful!”

  Something in Sam’s enthusiastic tone nagged at the dark place within, a dull thudding inside of her. She wouldn’t go there. She would not think about how much she missed … everything about Luc. The way his crooked smile made her heart beat a little faster. How his teasing laugh never failed to pull a smile out of her.

  Liz pushed out of her friend’s hug and shoved away from the table. “Would you stop? I’m not in love with him.”

  “Then why do you look like you did a month after Daniel died? You look numb, sweets.” Sam set a hand on her shoulder. “You’re running. Let yourself have this. This is the final step, allowing yourself to admit you’re in love with someone else. I know you feel guilty, but Daniel would’ve wanted it, and you know it. I’m positive he’s up there cheering you on.”

  • • •

  Luc darted a glance at the entrance to the kitchen as the doors blew open. It was 9:00 a.m., and the staff was prepping for the day ahead. The room around him filled with the familiar soun
ds of controlled chaos. His prep cook chopped the vegetables they’d use for the day. Over in the corner, someone prepared his grandmother’s red sauce, or “gravy” as she’d always called it, along with the homemade chicken stock they’d use in the pasta fagioli. Someone else was already doing dishes.

  Sam marched through the middle of it all like a woman on a mission, her gaze set on him. Dread dropped in his stomach. He’d been waiting for this day to arrive. She was about to give him a what-for. Liz must have finally told her what happened between them. He’d have to head this one off at the pass.

  Sam came to a stop at his side, planted her hands on her hips, and glared at him. Before the words could leave her mouth, he held up a hand. “Don’t start with me. It was her decision.”

  Sam folded her arms, her stiff posture deflating. “Are you seriously just going to let her walk away?”

  He didn’t answer but turned and crossed the kitchen, lifting the lid on the large stockpot of gravy simmering on a back burner. The aroma of fresh tomato sauce wafted over him.

  Sam followed, leaning against the stainless steel counter beside him. “She says you’re in love with her.”

  His heart stuttered. For a moment, he was back in that bed, staring into the dark shape of Liz’s face as those words left his mouth.

  He pulled a spoon from a container on the counter, dipped it into the sauce, and tasted. He smiled at the anxious girl beside him. “Perfect.”

  The girl relaxed and nodded, smiling. “Thank you, Chef.”

  Lines formed around Sam’s mouth. “You’re ignoring me.”

  “Yes, frankly, I am. I’m not discussing this with you.” He didn’t want to discuss this with anyone. His relationship with Liz was over. Every day of the last three weeks had been about trying to forget. Again. Sam’s interrogation only rubbed salt in a still-sore wound.

  Not one to be deterred, she grabbed his wrist and led him into the empty dining room before rounding on him. “She’s lost every pregnancy she’s ever had. Every single one. The only one to make it past six weeks was stillborn.”

  “I know. She told me.”

  Sam arched a cynical, blond brow, the look entirely too much like one Nonna had given him over the years. If Sam and Joe ever had children, those kids were in for it.

  “She had to give birth to that baby; did she tell you that? Twelve hours of labor to give birth to a dead baby, and she did it by herself. They gave Daniel thirteen days sick leave for bereavement, but he didn’t make it home in time for the birth.” She looked at the floor beneath her, anguish etched in the lines of her face. “I ached to be there with her, but they were stationed in Florida, and I couldn’t get there in time, either. At the end of it, she got to hold her sweet little daughter and then bury her. Two weeks after he went back, she found out Daniel’s helicopter had gone down. That he wouldn’t be coming home from his tour.”

  She stared at him, as if she expected him to have something to say about it. When he didn’t, she rambled on.

  “That’s on top of losing her mother when she was three. Her father’s in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. He’s currently living in this wonderful place down in California. She goes to visit him as often as she can, but he doesn’t remember who she is anymore.”

  “I know. She told me that, too.” The way Sam’s eyes pleaded with him had suspicion itching at the back of his mind. “Why are you telling me this?”

  “She’s going to kill me.” She sighed, long and heavy, her shoulders slumping. “Liz is pregnant.”

  Everything inside of him ground to a halt. He blinked. Processed. “Pregnant?”

  Sam rolled her eyes in exasperation and snapped her fingers in his face. “Come on, Rossi, catch up. Yes, pregnant.” Her eyes narrowed to thin slits. “And if you ask me if the baby’s yours, I’ll have your balls cooking in your grandmother’s gravy.”

  Luc rolled his eyes. She could be so damned bossy sometimes. She’d threatened his manhood, but he couldn’t help the warmth that flooded him. That was Sam to a T, the protective mother bear, and given everything, he was glad Liz had her. Despite Sam’s current mission, he knew she’d always be there for Liz.

  He folded his arms. “Give me some credit, huh? Why isn’t she telling me this?”

  “Because she doesn’t plan to. At least not yet. She’s waiting to see if she loses the baby.” Sam’s voice had lost its edge, and the truth showed in the worry lines etched into her face. She gave a sad, slow shake of her head. “I know her, Luc. She’s running scared right now, and I don’t think she should be alone with this. She’s lost too much.”

  The aching realization washed over him, settling deep inside. Liz’s life was filled with as much pain and loss as his was.

  He dropped his arms to his sides. “What do you want from me?”

  Sam took his hand and squeezed his fingers. “Don’t give up on her. I’d bet my last dollar the reason she’s running is because she’s in love with you, too, and she’s going to need you. If she loses this baby, it’ll sink her.”

  Luc frowned and shook his head. “She’s stronger than you give her credit for.”

  Sam nodded. “Yes, she’s one tough cookie, but she holds it all in and tries to shoulder the burden by herself. It’s all she knows. Whether she’s ready to admit it or not, you’re important to her. Don’t let her do this alone.”

  He turned, heading for the door back into the kitchen. “Oh, don’t worry. I don’t plan on it.”

  • • •

  “Izzy!”

  Luc turned his head as Alyssa left Ella playing in the sand at the edge of the playground and took off across the field. Several hundred feet beyond them, Bruce led Liz around the track running around the outside of the park. He’d brought Alyssa to the playground this morning in hopes of “accidentally” running into Liz, and there she was. If she’d even noticed him, she didn’t show it. She had yet to so much as glance in his direction.

  Alyssa ran, giggling, toward Liz and Bruce as fast as her little legs could carry her. His heart hammered in his throat as he watched her go. Having to fetch her would be an excuse to talk to Liz. He’d called her twice, and she had yet to return his call. Clearly, she was avoiding him.

  Alyssa came to a stop in front of her, and Liz squatted down. He moved in their direction, lengthening his strides. When he got halfway to her, Liz turned her head, glancing in his direction. Every bit as quickly, she stroked Alyssa’s hair and moved around her. Without a backward glance, Liz kept walking. He knew darn well she’d seen him. No way would she have left Alyssa alone otherwise.

  He sighed. Well, that confirmed his suspicions. Sam was right. Liz had no intention of telling him anything.

  Not that he’d let her get away that easily. He could be stubborn, too.

  When he reached Alyssa’s side, she tipped her head back, her eyes wide and shattered. “She can’t play, huh?”

  Alyssa shook her head.

  He squatted down to her level and flashed a mischievous smile. “Well, we’re not going to let her get away, are we?”

  Her smile bloomed like a flower in the sun, warming his insides, and she shook her head, her little curls bouncing around her chin.

  “Come on.” He pushed to his feet and held out his hand. “Let’s go get her.”

  He loped into a slow jog, while Alyssa ran and skipped beside him, giggling the whole way.

  Up ahead, Liz halted on the path and darted a glance behind her. When they came to a stop at her side, she drew up straight, her expression carefully impassive. “I really don’t want to do this right now.”

  “You have to face me sooner or later.” Luc released Alyssa’s hand and nodded in Bruce’s direction. “Sweetheart, go unhook Bruce’s leash.”

  She gave an eager nod and skipped over to the dog, while he maneuvered behind Liz. He unzipped her pack and dug through it for one of the blue balls he knew she kept at the bottom.

  Liz turned her head, trying to twist away from him. “What are you doing
?”

  “Giving us some privacy.” His fingers finally closed around a rubber ball, and he pulled it out. When Alyssa dropped Bruce’s leash on the ground, he handed the ball to her. “Throw the ball for Bruce, but don’t go far, okay?”

  She nodded again and took the ball. Bruce’s eyes glowed, his feet already dancing on the ground.

  Luc turned sideways, enough so that he could see Liz without taking his eye off Alyssa, and folded his arms. “How come you haven’t been answering my calls? Feels like you’re giving me the cold shoulder.”

  She jerked her gaze toward where Alyssa and Bruce played a few feet beyond them. “You’ve obviously spoken with Sam.”

  Her hard tone told him none too subtly she wasn’t happy. He sighed. “Look, I know her telling me goes against the girlfriend code, but I’m glad she did. I have a right to know you’re pregnant.”

  A stubborn scowl etched across her face. “I had plans to tell you if I actually made it past the first trimester. If I lose this baby like all the rest, there’s no use in telling you.”

  For the first time since he’d known her, she looked at him like she couldn’t stand to be near him. But her trembling voice and the tears hovering in her eyes told a different story. She was already preparing to lose the baby.

  He caught her face in his palms and forced her to meet his gaze. “Whatever happens, I’m not letting you do this by yourself. That baby’s mine, too, and I want to be included in every part of your pregnancy. I missed that with Alyssa.”

  The tears finally fell, one by one, streaking down her pale cheeks, carving a chunk out of his heart. She jerked her chin from his hands and stepped back.

  “You don’t get it, do you? I’ve lost them all. I hope to God I’m wrong, but I’ve been here before. I know exactly how this ends. I was careless, and now I’m paying the price.” Tears streamed freely down her face now, but she made no move to wipe them away. Instead, she glared at him, like somehow all this was his fault. “So you can stop with the whole Boy Scout routine, okay? I didn’t tell you, because it doesn’t matter.”

  She stalked off, marching away from him as fast as she could without running. She approached Alyssa and Bruce, clipped his leash, and strode off.